V S Naipaul once wrote, “The only lies for which we are truly punished are those we tell ourselves.” 1
When we believe we know what is better for others, this is the risk we run into. No matter how extensive our life experience is - it is unique to us. It took me a while to understand this. So often, when people ask me to tell them 'what is better for them,' I falter. I can describe/recount what happened to me in similar circumstances, but how can I ever tell you what will happen to you in those circumstances? History may repeat itself, but our lives don't. If only people could figure out a pattern to living and predict what would be - it would be humankind's greatest achievement and a tragedy.
"To live with the conscious knowledge of the shadow of uncertainty, with the knowledge that disaster or tragedy could strike at any time; to be afraid and to know and acknowledge your fear, and still to live creatively and with unstinting love: that is to live with grace."
-- Peter Abrahams, The View From Coyaba, 1985 2
So no - I cannot guide you in your journey - it is one for you to take. I can only tell you what I saw while I traversed my path if and when we meet. But that is the beauty of life - is it not? You will see your own wonders, gather your own mementos, and that is what will make your life special and valuable [to you].
Date: 11th March, 2023